How to build self-esteem in life
How to Build self-esteem is one of the most important things in personality development. It takes a lot of work and time but results are astonishing. It can have a major effect in your life giving you the much-needed confidence and appreciation for ourselves.
Occasionally we all have self-doubts and we do question our ability to do somethings but if this happens too frequently then you are the victim of low self-esteem. Self-esteem and self-confidence are generally interrelated but self-esteem focuses more on inner abilities and personality. You need to work on yourself. Despite so many articles, programs, and products on the internet to build self-esteem it is hard to keep high self-esteem all the time. It is very unstable. It can fluctuate very regularly (in days or weeks).
I have also been victim to this fluctuating self-esteem in my everyday life. Each day is different and to get through it you need different energy, mood, and confidence. I spend my day trying to keep up but I do fail sometimes. My self-esteem drops quite a few times in a month and that is okay. It is a very unusual graph.
“Self-Esteem is not a stable thing” You need to maintain it regularly by checking up on yourself.
Having said that there are many things that we can do to gradually build self-esteem. Here are few sure shot methods about how to build self-esteem:
- Talk to yourself honestly
This is probably the most clichéd thing to say but clichés exist for a reason. This method has proven to be quite successful. The difference here is, don’t blindly appreciate yourself or give yourself temporary motivations.
Instead, if you had a bad day, stand in front of the mirror and honestly ask yourself what exactly went wrong today? Discuss the problem with yourself in as many details as possible. Don’t overthink just state things that happened today and what you could do to avoid it next time.
Tell yourself that you will continue doing efforts, till you are successful!
- Go easy on yourself
Everybody makes mistakes. You did too, be fine with it. Nobody is perfect. Don’t beat yourself up on this. If there is a mistake then there has to be a solution for it. Rather than cursing yourself for the mistake channel your energy to find a solution.
Follow this simple process: Found a mistake? -> Find the solution -> Move on.
After all, each of your mistakes and finding the solution for it could be an amazing story to share your positive mindset in your next interview.
In my earlier blog about – How to deal with stress, I said, don’t expect everybody to act according to you. Don’t try to change things that are not in your control. Instead, focus your energy on things that you can control and change it.
- Get comfortable in your skin
I have seen many people underestimating their actual skills because of how they look. That should not happen. If you are good at something or learning to be good at something never be uncomfortable with how you are looking. We live in a skill-driven world; hence “How I look” stands very low on the qualifying list. Although, I agree standard grooming and dressing increase your own confidence physical looks are least of concern. I have seen skilled people having really low self-esteem because they are fat or do not have good “features”.
Trash such thoughts, get comfortable in your skin – be radiant, and believe in your core skills and that will seriously build self-esteem in you.
- Try to help people or mentor them
Helping others in every way you can, in return will help you build self-esteem. There is scientific evidence that helping others and your ‘giving’ nature helps secrete “feel good” chemicals in our brains, such as serotonin (a mood-mediating chemical), dopamine (a feel-good chemical), and oxytocin ( compassion and bonding chemical). This helps you increase your self-esteem substantially.
Give it a try, say yes if somebody asks for your help even with small things. Let everyone know that you are open to mentoring your juniors or anybody if they want. Be there for anyone who needs your guidance, support, or leadership.
- Challenge yourself. Get out of your comfort zone
Stagnant and monotonous life can affect your self-esteem negatively. Look for adventure, challenge yourself for something new, even if you fail you will feel good about yourself for trying new things.
Always be a student and keep learning new things to boost your self-esteem and confidence.
- Don’t compare yourself to others
The last suggestion would be, stop comparing yourself to others. Everybody has a different journey and comparing yourself to anyone else is sure shot way to feel shitty about yourselves.
Focus on yourself, focus on your own skills, your own goals, and achievements, rather than comparing them with others. Be grateful to what you have and learn how to stop overthinking because it will drain your mind and energies.
The bottom line is building self-esteem is a long continuous process, understand all these points, and try to incorporate it into your daily life. Soon you will be able to see the results. The return on investment by following these tips could be amazing! All the best!