Welcome to my Life

Let’s start with , why blogging ?

Well, I am a very secretive person . I don’t go on telling people how boring or sad my life is . I don’t like talking about my life . And because of this I have become this mysterious girl for everyone . I keep a lot of things to myself , my thoughts are piling up and this is why I suffer from a lot of emotional breakdowns.

One of my friend knew about this and said, ” if you don’t want to tell people about your thoughts why not write about it, that might help you with your breakdowns .” I thought for a while, looked myself in the mirror with watery eyes and gave myself a ‘no you can’t do it’ look . I feel like the more I reveal myself to people they will think i am weak. which, of course i am not.

But it’s a new year , and keeping all these thoughts to myself is exhausting me and i am afraid it will harm me as well. So here i am trying something new, writing my very first “blog”.

Who am I?

I am insecure, stubborn, anxious and also 19 years old . Half of my life has gone from shifting from one city to another or from one state to another . But i won’t complain about it . why?

Because I love going to new places . I don’t like sticking at one place with limited people . I love to explore, to gain experiences, that’s what makes our life worth living . In the year 2011, I came to this beautiful city – Mumbai and it’s been 8 years now .

The one thing I like about this place is you are never alone . You might feel lonely but not alone. There’s just something about this place that can’t be expressed in words its more of a feeling. This city never stops for anyone . Every individual is unique and so much more to learn from them.

But.

There’s always a “BUT”. As happy as this city makes me , it also gives me a lot of anxiety. I do love meeting new people getting to know them , sticking around is a task for me . I don’t know why i feel i am a burden on everybody- my parents, sister , friends . I make myself believe that i will stop expecting from people but in the end it’s the same story.

I am very positive when it comes to other people . I will always support them but when it comes to me I don’t know , it’s like I have lost faith in myself . I don’t trust my actions anymore. Last few years were very hard for me and all I am doing is running away from reality . But the more you run from it , the more it will come chasing you . So I stopped running. Now i will face the reality get myself to trust again. And even if/when I fail , i will get back up and fight again. I screwed up a lot of things , not anymore. I will make sure 2019 is my year.

Everyone has inside them a piece of good news. The good news is you don’t know how great you can be, how much you can love, what you can accomplish and what your potential is.
-ANNE FRANK

The world has enough negativity already . Let’s try to make world a better place by being positive and helping each other out . I know it’s hard to be happy all the time with all the negativity ,surrounding us but we can try, right?

Lastly, few of the things that keeps me going:

1) My beautiful sister

2) My love for dogs .

A two legged person can never give the kind of happiness what a four legged dog can give. Also, this is not my dog. Although, I wish I had one.

If you are still here reading this – you’re beautiful and thank you so much for sticking around.